This has been one of my personal learning in professional life esp at recruitment level. We always expect others to behave like us, work like we do, talk like we do and everything else possibly like a clone. This is so much against the rule of our own existence and identity. We all are given different circumstances and we all have our own learning and thus we all expect to act differently.
In my early days of interviews (way back in 2004-2005), I used to expect programmers to be of certain nature. I expected them to have certain backgrounds. I expected them to know few things. It wasn’t wrong until I realized the prejudice behavior in me. I would have judged the candidate even before they step in for interview. It almost stopped me from hiring a person with different talents, which was such a disadvantage for your team. I could come out of it really soon (thanks to the Church teaching and great books on HR).
There are people who want their clones everywhere, at office (all the people should dress in my own approved way, work and behave like me), at home (my wife, husband, father, mother, relatives should talk and behave as per my own set of rules) and at other places (friends should only do things that are permitted by my own laws).
Why expecting a clone is big hindrance in life?
- It certainly prevents you from getting diverse dimensions in your team/life.
- It prevents others to be free with you.
- It prevents you to acknowledge the good things done by others as you will always be busy comparing your clone properties with others.
- It certainly increases our prejudice level (have an Influenced opinion in advance).
Most importantly, it prevents you from being happy
Oh, bet on it! We will never be happy if we expect clones. We will never be happy with our relatives who will shout loud on a six and licks their hand after eating. During the whole span of interaction, we will keep looking for differences and will get annoyed with everything that doesn’t matches with our rules. I always smile at people who are working so hard to change their parents. It is their wish that their parents matches with their status (I don’t know for what reason). Personally, I also used to try (even today I try explaining things from my perspective) to change a lot with my parents, friends, teams etc but now I enjoy their uniqueness and will always allow them to be what they are comfortable with. I enjoy the way they are. I don’t have wrong expectations from them.
Enjoy the difference
We all are different and it is so important that we enjoy our differences (and learn from others). Now I have started enjoying the difference. I enjoy when our relatives at KFC will spill the burger filling here and there, I enjoy when my friends jump on my bed with their dirty legs (grrr…) ……
Hey after-all life is not about rules, rules are good but certainly life is not only about rules. Don’t get too much tied up with your own rules (expecting your clones everywhere), enjoy the differences and be happy that you have people who come and break your rules :).
Next video is a great video, Religion vs Jesus way (I will be writing about rules and the purpose of rules).